Asha's Not An Angel
by LoganFan701
Summary: Many people think Asha's just a little angel, but not in this story...*snickering* Lots of Asha-Bashing. Also there's no virus because Max can hit Logan. Please R+R!
1. Asha's Not An Angel

Asha's Not An Angel  
  
Written By: LoganFan701  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Surprising, I know, but technically...only the story's mine.  
  
A/N: This has lots of Asha-bashing so if you're an Asha-fan...do not read. It also has a little Sketchy-weirdness...but that's not the point.  
  
Summary: Well, most people think Asha is a little angel, but not in this story...*snicker snicker*  
  
Logan had hated Asha ever since they met. She was snobby, bratty, and just Asha. She had broken important things such as a Japanese vase from the 1300's, a pure gold plate from the President, and his favorite computer game. It wasn't that weird, though, because she was drunk every time she broke something. Once she even threw a sculpture out the window, breaking both the sculpture and the window, and only because Logan got a candy bar and she didn't. But that was one time she wasn't drunk, completely fine. Well, mostly fine anyway. Logan thought something was wrong mentally with her. So when Asha showed up on his doorstep, he almost punched her. But lucky for Asha an owl flew by outside the window, and Asha pointed and Logan looked. That was his big mistake.  
  
The owl was pretty, a golden color, so Asha oohed and ahhed as it flew off into the air. Even when it was probably in Canada, she still looked out the window and oohed/ahhed. Which seemed weird to Logan. He shrugged it off.  
  
Once they got into conversation, Logan had better control of himself, though he thought he spotted some kind of little guy plotting to kill Asha through the window. He decided it was his only in his mind.  
  
"So what's been happening lately? She asked. Logan hated when she asked that. It actually meant, "Well, I don't really care what you're doing tonight and...wanna go out?"  
  
"No," he answered plainly.  
  
"Fine, I just thought you were my boyfriend." She stormed out of the penthouse leaving a puzzled Logan behind. Oh, Logan thought, she left her coat. I see some beer, cash and...a little squeaky toy? So Asha was drunk today. Now it made perfect sense.  
  
He picked up the coat took the money out of it. Usually Logan didn't approve of stealing himself (Max was ok), but this was Asha we're talking about. Memories flooded into Logan's mind. The time when she tore through his penthouse looking for a penny. According to her, it was a good luck penny, with nothing printed on either side. So she threw books everywhere and she finally found it in her pocket. Logan examined it and it turned out to be a piece of round cardboard.  
  
Finally one day he could take it no longer. He reported her to the authorities to be a member of the SW1, or S1W, whatever it was. She was taken to prison and it was the happiest day of his life. He threw a party and invited Max and Sketchy, Original Cindy and even Alec. His party turned out great, except when suddenly someone came bursting through the door. It was Asha. 


	2. She's Crazy!

She's Crazy!  
  
"What were you thinking, sening me to the police?" Asha exclaimed.  
  
"Um...er..." Everyone was inching their way to the back door that just magically appeared...  
  
Wait, they can't have have a back door! They'd fall into the air so...let's move Asha to where she is by the window so they have room to inch toward the door. Now let's resume with the story...  
  
"Don't even think about leaving!" She shouted. What's with this girl? Everyone was thinking. Nobody was too sure.  
  
"I swear I'm gonna pop your little heads off if you don't get me on Wheel of Fortune 20 Years Later!" Everyone stared at her. Theen she pulled out a gun.  
  
"All right, everybody, hands up in the air where I can see them." Nobody moved.  
  
"I SAID HANDS IN THE--"  
  
"Hey what's going on out here?" Max stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
"Max? Where'd you come from?" Again, everybody stared at her.  
  
"I SAID HANDS IN THE AIR!!!" Asha screamed. Only Sketchy's went up, then quickly down as he looked around. All the while Original Cindy was slowly walking toward Logan's phone.  
  
"YOU!!" Asha shouted, pointing at Original Cindy. "FREEZE!!"  
  
"Oh, will you shut up already!" Logan and Max exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah," Alec added. He was walking towards Max, to get ready for some action in case they needed to use it against Asha.  
  
"Don't even think about it," Asha said, raising her gun. She pulled the trigger. 


	3. Finally

Finally  
  
Luckily, she had no aim and instead hit a painting. "Oops," she said sheepishly.  
  
"Hey, that cost me 5 grand!" Logan screamed.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"I'm gonna kill you before the night's over, Asha!" Came Max's voice.  
  
"Oh you will?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah," Alec put in.  
  
"Is that the only word you can say, pretty-boy?" Asha asked Alec. Once more, everyone stared at her.  
  
"STOP DOING THAT!!" She screamed to everybody.  
  
"Asha, you are no longer allowed in this building" said a loud voice. "You will be terminated if you are found in this building." Asha, very scared of a big voice, slowly started toward the door. "Wait," said the voice,"Leave the gun, and the money, and your squeaky toy."  
  
"You don't mean Mr. Miller Light?"  
  
"You named your squeaky toy after beer?" Original Cindy asked, looking at Asha weird.  
  
"Yes, I mean Mr. Miller Light," the eery voice said.  
  
"Fine!! I'm going, I'll never show up here again or talk to Logan!! Or anyone!! Just let me go!" Asha pleaded.  
  
"Turn yourself into the police, and get a haircut for crying out loud," the voice said. You could tell it was finished.  
  
"OK!! I'll see you later!!! BYE!!" Asha finally left, for good this time.  
  
"How whack is that girl?" Original Cindy asked.  
  
"Really no idea," Max answered.  
  
"Wanna leave?"  
  
"Nah, it's fun here."  
  
"Well, then, let the party continue!" Logan said. 


	4. Who Was It?

Who Was It?  
  
"So do ya know what that voice thing was?" Original Cindy asked, about 20 minutes after Asha literally "Left the building."  
  
"I don't know, it was proably Sketch-" Max was cut off.  
  
"But he was right beside me." Original Cindy said.  
  
"Then who, or what was it?" Max asked herself.  
  
"Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything," Alec said as he came to join them.  
  
"Oh, no, you're fine boo."  
  
"Hey, um do you think that you could get Logan over here? And Sketchy too? We need to talk," Max requested to Alec. "Sure, whatever." He was back in a second.  
  
"Ok, so do we know what that voice was?" Max asked everyone.  
  
"Well, it sounded a little like Madonna," Logan commented. Max hit him.  
  
"Really, we need to know. I don't have any idea why, but that's what the writer's telling me to figure out."  
  
"Hey!" LoganFan701 exclaimed. But of course no one listens to the writer.  
  
"Hey everybody!!!!!" Everyone gasped at who just talked. Except Sketchy, he was already drunk and playing with Mr. Miller Light.  
  
"Zack?" Max exclaimed. "What are you doing here? How are you here? How long have you been alive?" She continued with this until they reached her final, 67th question: "What did they do to your face?"  
  
"Easy, easy Max," Zack said, stepping away from the window. "I brought beer." Sketchy suddenly looked up. "Beer?" He said. Original Cindy smacked him.  
  
"Yeah, sure Sketchy, want some?" Zack held out the beer to Sketchy.  
  
"Oh yeah," Sketchy replied.  
  
"And doom falls on all of us," Original Cindy muttered.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Sketchy's having his 93rd drink tonight."  
  
"But we didn't have that much beer to give him," Logan said, still confused.  
  
"Oh, you don't know what he can do to other things to make beer," she said, looking around. "Still, who was that voice?" 


	5. Everything Explained

Everything Explained  
  
"I played the voice," Zack explained. "You don't know how well I can do voiceovers. I was actually on a rope outside the window but I made it sound like it was from a corner."  
  
"But why? Why Zack, why? And, don't forget, you still have to tell me what happened to your face," Max pressured him.  
  
"It got sat on, by a tiger, in Nigeria," Zack answered sadly.  
  
"Really?" Everyone asked in unison.  
  
"No. Actually, I just got a plastic surgery job. Now I look like Alec Trebec! Isn't that cool?" Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Right..." Logan mumbled.  
  
"Ok, at least she's gone. I couldn't stand her for another minute. Thanks," Max said to Zack.  
  
"No prob."  
  
"Where is she now?" Original Cindy asked.  
  
"Under the boardwalk."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No, she's homeless and helpless and all those other 'lesses trying to find some food down at South Market Street."  
  
"Well, good," Logan said.  
  
"Yeah," Alec added.  
  
"Just shut up!!" Max cried out. The party went on until 5:00 A.M. when Sketchy finally dosed off after his 290th drink. "Pretty whack," Original Cindy had said. Logan fell asleep in his chair while working on "work" (Heroes) and Max fell asleep on his couch. Sketchy was not to be removed, for fear of injury, and Alec "Yeahed" his way home. Everything was good, until the squirrel howled at 7:00. How a squirrel can howl, don't ask me, but this is a fic so I can do whatever I want... 


	6. The Next Day

The Next Day  
  
The squirrel was howling, which awoke Max and Logan, and surprisingly Sketchy. Max, who had tossed and turned in the night, or rather morning, awoke to see Logan looking at her hair. He snickered and then went to answer the door (the doorbell had rung). It was Alec, and Original Cindy, who had gone home earlier. He let the two in. After that, he ran to the window and opened it. He took an old computer mouse that was lying on the counter and threw it at the howling squirrel. Now it howled no more.  
  
Max, who had run to the bathroom to check her hair, screamed. It was not like her to care about her hair, but she had to scream. It had been tangled into a bow. Weird, she thought. She straightened it out and returned to the living room to find Alec saying 'Yeah', Original Cindy deep in conversation with Logan about hoverdrones and how they give no privacy, and Sketchy was...ready to jump! No one else had noticed Sketchy on the windowsill, with the window open, no one except her.  
  
"Sketchy!" she shouted. Max ran over to the window and pulled him down.  
  
"What?" he asked woozily.  
  
"You were ready to jump!"  
  
"I was? I thought that I was supposed to! This voice in my head kept telling me to view that killer whale outside the window..."  
  
"There's no killer whale outside the window! They live in the ocean! Whacko," Max muttered. She closed the window and walked over to Logan, leaving a very confused Sketchy mumbling to himself about where killer whales actually live and how pretty the whale looked floating over that SUV. He was now talking to Cindy about the prices of gasoline.  
  
"Five dollars a gallon! I remember when it used to be $1.95..." Logan exclaimed.  
  
"Hey, Logan, Cindy. I've got nothing to do."  
  
"Yeah," Alec put in.  
  
"So why doesn't the author end this story?" Logan asked.  
  
"I don't--  
  
ZAP! The story is now ended. 


End file.
